Sex Questions

What is the difference between sex and sexuality?

Dr. Masters defines sexuality as a dimension of the personality and sex as a specific physical activity. Sexuality determines the quality of sex. A healthy sexuality ensures normal sex but if the sexuality is warped or repressed because of cultural and social taboos or emotional influences, sexual dysfunction can result.

What is the average length of a penis?

I have been criticized at seminars for not stating precisely the average length of the penis - It is not difficult to measure the penises of 2000 or 3000 men and find out the average length of the penis, as has been done in the case of the average height and weight charts. But there is a great pitfall. If I state that the average length happens to be 12.5 centimeters, you will worry yourself that nature has been unkind to you if yours is only 11 centimeters. In extreme cases you may land yourself on a psychiatrist's couch learning to live with your 'small organ'. So I strongly feel that where ignorance is bliss it is folly to be wise-to know the average length of the male organ and be miserable for the rest of your life.

What happens if a male has an unduly long penis, say 20 centimeters?

First and foremost, women do not enjoy long ramrods. They are uncomfortable and can often be painful. Although a long penis may be a great ego booster to its owner, about 5 centimeters of it remains outside, the next 5 centimeters -are gripped by the outer one-third of the sensitive vaginal wall and the remaining half penetrates the insensitive area of the vagina-not a satisfying experience for a male.

What happens if a male has an unduly long penis, say 20 centimeters?

First and foremost, women do not enjoy long ramrods. They are uncomfortable and can often be painful. Although a long penis may be a great ego booster to its owner, about 5 centimeters of it remains outside, the next 5 centimeters -are gripped by the outer one-third of the sensitive vaginal wall and the remaining half penetrates the insensitive area of the vagina-not a satisfying experience for a male. However, there are a few women who believe that a large penis is more stimulating and exciting. This may be due to their previous sexual conditioning, or belief in the folklore of sex. For the -vast majority of women, the length of the penis is unimportant, though it remains the most prized part of the anatomy for a male.

What do I do about my small testes?

Like the size of your penis, the size of the testes does not matter as long as they produce the male hormone testosterone in sufficient quantities. The testes are the glands responsible for your manliness.

Why does my scrotum hang loosely?

The position of the scrotum and the testes is determined by a muscle called the cremaster. When you are anxious, tense and worried and during the hot weather, the scrotum seems to hang loosely. But in cold weather or when you are aroused, the muscle contracts and draws up the testes. The state of the muscle-loose or tight-does not determine your erection or potency.

Are large veins on my penis a sign of oncoming impotence?.

You have never complained so far about the prominent veins on your forearms or legs. The veins seem large when your organ is limp. Actually, it is better to have large blood vessels in the penis for a prompt erection, rather than narrow thickened ones.

Is masturbation common amongst males?

99 per cent of men masturbate, whether they are single or married. The American male usually leads two distinct and definite sex lives simultaneously: 'I have more or less two sex lives, one with my wife and one with myself. I have masturbated for many years,' was one of the typical replies reported in the Hite Report on Male Sexuality.

Is masturbation harmful?

Certainly not. We have enough evidence to show that masturbation is not harmful. But frequent masturbation is not advisable. If, however, it is exclusively preferred to sexual intercourse even when opportunities for heterosexual contacts are available, it should be treated.

Which is more pleasurable, masturbation or sex?

Certainly sex with a responding partner. Is there any difference between orgasm during masturbation and intercourse? Orgasms during masturbation are the most intense physically. There is no performance pressure, one does it in solitary splendor and the way one wants it. However, the deep emotional and -psychological bond with a responding partner is not there and to that extent they are not as satisfying and fulfilling as orgasms during intercourse.

Why do I pass semen every time I urinate?

The whitish discharge in your urine is not semen but phosphate crystals. This condition, called phosphaturia, is quite harmless and usually occurs among vegetarians. Take a sample of your urine to your doctor who will examine it chemically and under a microscope. The report should convince you that the whitish discharge is phosphate crystals and not semen.

Why don't I have a rock-like erection?

Your penis is created for penetrating the soft vagina and not for drilling holes in a stone wall! The penis is hardest at the age of 17 to 19, the hardness gradually declining with age. Though a little hardness is necessary for penetration, further hardness is not necessary in order to satisfy your female partner.

I am 42 years old and do not become erect instantaneously as I used to when I was twenty. Is this normal?

The erection response at the age of twenty is instantaneous, but gradually declines as we grow older. In the forties it may take a few seconds and in the mid-fifties your partner may have to caress you to produce an erection. Do not panic and think you have an erection problem. It is a normal physiological change which takes place in most men.

I have normal sex and orgasm but no ejaculation. Do I need to consult a doctor?

You are suffering from retrograde ejaculation, where the seminal discharge goes into the urinary bladder instead bf coming out through the penile urethra. Your doctor can easily diagnose it for you. Masturbate with a full bladder and after your orgasm, pass some urine. Your voided urine, when it is examined under a microscope, will show sperms. Retrograde ejaculation results ' from a disorder of the internal sphincter of the bladder, which normally seals off the urethra and blocks the flow of urine during ejaculation. Retrograde ejaculation may also occur after a prostatectomy or if you have diabetes. You should consult your doctor for treatment.

Is it true that a better erection will result in better sex?

No, many studies including the famous Shere Hite report have shown that the majority of women have denied the current widely prevalent male belief that women are interested in a ramrod-like erection penetrating their vaginas and thrusting vigorously. On the contrary, it hurts their delicate insides, though a majority of them silently suffer the assault by the cavemen. The real Casanovas are not merely the 'Slam-bang-thank-you-ma'am' lovers but artists who know when, where and how to use the lips, the tongue, the hand and the overrated penis to hold their partners spellbound.

Why are most men interested in only penis-vagina intercourse and not any other form of sex? Why do men regard women as a mere piece of 'meat'?

'It is universally assumed-that what men like /want from intercourse is their orgasm,' states Shere Hite in her brilliant and painstaking book, The Hite Report on Male Sexuality. 'However what men want from intercourse is something else.' The 7239 men who answered her questionnaire stated that they could easily obtain a more powerful orgasm through masturbation than sexual intercourse. Orgasm was not therefore the be-all and end-all during sex. What men liked most was the close physical contact of the vagina clasping the penis, the ego-boosting effect of being loved and wanted, and, last but not the least, the fact that the thrusting erect penis confirms the male's masculinity.

Is alcohol a sexual stimulant? Does it help cases of impotence?

Alcohol is a depressant, 'a sexual poison'. Though a little alcohol removes inhibition and stimulates desire, it is difficult to determine when this little becomes too much, especially for the male. It is therefore best to avoid it.

How can I make my partner orgasmic during penis-vagina intercourse? How do I know that my partner is orgasmic during penis vagina intercourse? Isn't it very frustrating for her to go on and on without release?

If your partner happens to be in the lucky 30 per cent there is no problem; she can be vaginally orgasmic and your penis will feet the contractions. For the majority of women your best bet is to stimulate her clitorally and let her reach an orgasm, if she so desires. You can then insert your erect organ in the vagina and enjoy carefree sex with her. Secondly, with the woman-on-top position you can have easy access to her clitoris as she moves on your erect penis. Thirdly, she can stimulate herself whilst you are on top and thrusting; most women, are, however, reticent to stimulate themselves in front of the male partner. It is very important for males to realize that only 30 per cent of women, according to the Hite Report on Male Sexuality, reach an orgasm during penis-vagina intercourse-whilst the remaining vas majority (70 per cent) can only be orgasmic during manual clitoris stimulation. The penis, in the man-on-top position, does not com into direct contact with the clitoral area which triggers an orgasm i the female. Besides, the clitoral stimulation orgasms are more intense and localized whilst the vaginal ones are diffuse and less intense.

It is very difficult for most males to find out whether their partner has had an orgasm or not, especially when the penis does not feel the vaginal contractions. Besides, females expect their partners to be complete knowledgeable not only about themselves but also about the partners.

What percentage of women reach an orgasm during sex?

Dr. Alfred Kinsey, the pioneer researcher in human sexual behavior, reported that 75 per cent of women in the sample survey had some orgasmic experience by the end of the first year of married life, and 81 per cent after ten years of married life, while one out of ten never reached an orgasm at all. Though large-scale studies are not available in our country, the proportion of anorgasmic women is much higher.

How many women masturbate?

The exact figures of women who masturbate are not known. In a study conducted on 67 liberated college girls by a lady researcher on behalf of the author, about 40 per cent admitted to having masturbated. Of the women who replied to the Shere Hite Questionnaire, 82 per cent stated that they masturbated and 95 per cent of them were orgasmic. The remaining 18 per cent denied having ever masturbated. It is quite likely that the percentage of women who masturbate in the general Population would be less than 82 per cent as the Hite women were an exclusive set who had no inhibitions about describing their auto-manipulative techniques. Marriages of girls take place at an earlier age than in the USA, the fear of detection is greater in the joint family and the cult of masturbation has not been highlighted here as it has in the USA. 'Masturbation is our primary sex life. It is our sexual base,' writes Betty Dodson in Liberating Masturbation. She tells readers that even primates masturbate from early childhood.

'Which is the most satisfying method of auto-manipulation-the clitoris or the vagina or both?' asked a collegian on the telephone without revealing her identity.

Women employ widely different techniques to masturbate and obtain sexual gratification. We have once again to rely on the intensive study by Shere Hite on American women. The majority of the women according to the Hite Report use the finger to stimulate the clitoral vulva area, whilst lying on the back, and fantasizing or arousing themselves psychically. Initially they stimulate the mons area with their lubricated fingers, then go on to stimulate the side of the clitoris, and end up with rapid jerky stroking of the clitoral body and the glans. Most women masturbated to orgasm in a few minutes. Some hard-pressed for time used a vibrator. A few titillated the clitoris with stroking inside the vagina, while some preferred to simultaneously stimulate their left breast and nipple with their left hand. A few masturbated lying on their stomach, or introducing some object into the vagina. About 30 per cent of women crossed their legs tightly and by strongly tensing and relaxing the upper thigh muscles and the legs became orgasmic.

Are all women multi-orgasmic?

According to Masters and Johnson, all healthy women have th capacity for multiple orgasms. But these were laboratory findings o electrically or manually stimulated women. It is difficult to find me in today's Stress Century who can last the grueling multi-orgasmic match during penis-vagina intercourse. The male partner however can easily stimulate a woman manually to orgasm a number of times-in fact, as many times as she wants. On an average, women, except in rare circumstances, do not reach more than two or three orgasms. Many of them have to be content without even a single orgasm.