First Time Sex

The wedding first night is a night that is supposed to be perfect. But more often than people expect, it proves to be a night fraught with tension. All the harder to handle because most of us believe that, in terms of the joyousness of the occasion any troubled feelings should be kept out of sight.

First Time Sex Story

Don and Sally were typical. They have tried to hide their worries, not only from each other, but from themselves. About a month after their wedding, however they came into our office, a handsome but dejected looking young couple. Don went in to talk with one of us. Sally with the other.

Sally started out by telling that they had spent their first night in a friend's cabin in the woods close up under the mountains. The next day they'd driven on to The Lake.

"You'd think the morning after being married, we'd have been talking and laughing. But we weren't. We weren't saying a thing to each other. Not a word. . . ."

Without being aware of it, as she talked, Sally slipped back and forth from the present to childhood and from childhood to the present. This was encouraged. For, thoughts that "pop into the mind," as it were, can lead on to further thoughts and bring clues about underlying feelings which may be making for trouble.

For years she'd looked forward to being in love and to having intercourse. Even as a child she's believed that the answer to every problem in life would come with being married.

"It's funny," she broke off, “I just thought of a silly little poem I wrote in the third grade. It came back so clearly. Shall I say it?"

"Yes, do."

"What's being in love like?" Sally began, a little embarrassed, paused, started over.

"What's being in love like?
Oh, I can think it -
You do things for each other :
I pick an apricot
And bring it to him;
And he puts a rose in my fingers
And the world Smells so good."

She remembered how her father had smiled when he'd read it. Not in a fun making way, but as if he understood how much this small girl of his was wishing that she might take a breathless leap across time and be old enough to have her dreams come true. But Sally had not been so sure whether her mother had smiled or scowled. "Anyway, when I got into my teens, she was always so impatient with me. Whenever I'd look at a boy, my mother would immediately think I was getting too sexy. She'd look as if she wanted nothing more to do with me. As if I'd let her down."

Then Sally jumped to thinking about Don. About how he'd looked on the drive to the lake after their wedding night. Watching his profile, she'd wondered whether he was scowling. "Wanting nothing more to do with me. I'd let him down." (The very same words as about her mother.)

She'd heard, of course, then it often took a while for a girl to achieve a climax. She'd read, too, that lots of women never did. But she and Don both thought they knew from the petting they'd done that she wasn't that sort. When they petted, she had arrived at a climax all right.

And so, on their first night, when they'd undressed together, touching each other, she'd been so sure of him and of herself. But then Don had come into her and she'd felt nothing. Nothing inside. . . .

What was the matter with her? In spite of what the books said, she wondered if she could perhaps have hurt herself when she'd masturbated. Or perhaps she had become used to having a climax from being touched On the outside so that the inside failed to respond?. Or didn't she know the right way to lie or to move? Or was she cold in spite of all she'd thought? Was this what being "frigid" meant?

Meanwhile, Don was telling his doctor how he had felt that morning. He'd kept asking himself, "What's wrong with me?". He'd kept telling himself that he was no good, a failure. The first time was understandable. He'd naturally been "nerved up," he said, because it was his first time. He'd been tired, too, from the wedding. There had been all the people clamoring, his mother weeping, and the strain of getting Sally past the practical jokesters without any hitch. He'd been worried about Sally, too, because of what he'd heard about bleeding when a girl was a virgin. But that had passed without any real trouble. Then they'd fallen asleep for a couple of hours in each others' arms and he'd awakened completely refreshed, all the tension seemingly vanished. But despite this when he'd wanted mom, something happened to him again. . . .

Don had taken this as a bitter defeat. Ever since his mid teens, he explained, when his mother had told him about his father and the reasons for their divorce. Don had brooded and thought about the kind of husband he wanted to be. Not the way his mother said as father had been. Thoughtless. Paying attention only to his own pleasure. Careless. Too fast. Not concerned ever over whether he gave his wife a climax or not. Young as Don had been at the time, he had made up is mind that he would never leave his wife up in the air. And so the first night had come as a shock to him. He couldn’t understand what had gone wrong. He'd were lost control when he and Sally had petted. He'd always managed to hold back his orgasm. Was being too fast, then, inherited? Was he, after all, going to be no better for his wife than his father had been for his? He could, of course, continue to satisfy Sally by touching her after he was through. But that wasn't what he'd been looking forward to. He wanted good intercourse.

During their honeymoon he had tried not to worry Sally. He had said nothing to her. When they got home, however, he had talked to his best friend who had suggested that they seek professional counsel.

As a result, in time, Don came to see that what had happened on his wedding night had not spelled a collapse of all his hopes. It had been due to a combination of things. Tension as well as excitement over the fact of being married over the fact that being married spelled a whole new life, not only a new sex life. The conflict of loyalties between Sally and his mother who, he knew very well, would miss him. And not the least, tension resulting from the holdover of his earlier wishes to do better than his big rival, Father as if he were fighting against a father who was still in the picture - a fight now altogether inappropriate.

Don was one person; his father was another. Don, as a child, had naturally felt rivalry, as all children do. As he grew, he naturally wanted to avoid his father's failures. But the intensity of the need on his wedding night to prove himself immediately better than his father was quite out of place. He had put his focus on his childhood rivalry with his father rather than an loving Sally, his wife.

As for Sally ts she returned for further talks she kept coming back again and again to the question "Am I frigid?"

"I know how you feel," her therapist told her. "Most girls feel that way when they fail to have deep pleasure or orgasm at first. And yet, very few do."

"But," with a rush of tears, "Don won't love me. Not it I keep letting him down. He won't approve.. ." (the way a child speaks of a parent).

And then, suddenly one day, Sally flared up.” I get so angry. So angry at him. But why? Lately he hasn't been too fast. And he's so patient and kind.. ." She stopped, was quiet. She saw finally that she had pasted the picture of her impatient mother on her husband. This was one of the main reasons for her misunderstanding his unhappiness after their wedding night, for her thinking that Don's scowl on that drive through the mountains had meant that he was disappointed in her; for her mistakenly feeling herself blamed by Don as she had felt herself blamed earlier by her mother. Now that her unfitting anger was out in the open, she could work on it. This she did. In fact, both Don and Sally could now work on many things not the least, on being open and honest in their, various feelings toward each other. They could begin to take the whole of their relationship into account, not sex alone. With this their sexual problems cleared. And Sally found she was not frigid at all.

Many young People like Don and Sally worry secretly themselves over the disappointments that often come the beginning of a marriage, they worry about the new husband's failure to last long enough in intercourse and the wife's seeming inability to respond and reach orgasm. They wonder if they will ever reach the point of having the simultaneous climax they've read or heard so much, about. They worry over the possibility of having been harmed in some way by masturbation. They wonder, tether they are sexually well mated; sexually adequate: frigid. "Is that all there's to intercourse?" echoes many a girls response.

First Time Sex Tips

Tip 1:Your sex power is directly related to your mental strength. Keep your mind fresh and avoid inferiority complex. Intercourse is not a difficult one. You can win very easily. Keep your mind free from any stress. Even limp penis can enter vagina very easily if you have good mental strength. Good mental strength is important to extend sex duration.

Tip 2. Communicate with your partner efficiently and maintain friendly atmosphere. This will help to remove fear about sex .

Tip 3.Do foreplay by stimulating your partner's breast, clitoris, ears and buttocks. Remove her dress step by step.

Tip 4 .Embrace her and stimulate all her organs.

Tip 5 Insert your penis in to her vagina and play strokes slowly and then increase the stroke rate. Keep your mental strength strong at this time to increase duration of sex. Finally release semen.